Blog by Richard Heagy
Too many politicians are listening to their national opinion. And if you are listening to your national opinion you are not developing what should be a common European sense and feeling of the need to put together efforts. We have too many part-time Europeans. – Jean-Clod Junker, President of the European Commission
In order to preserve unity, accelerate EU integration and eliminate national identity, the following regulations will be proposed for individuals and companies in the EU.
WORDS AND PHRASES CONSIDERED UNPATRIOTIC TO THE EU, THOUGH NOT ILLEGAL:
COMMON LANGUAGE REQUIREMENTS:
German will be the official language of the ever closer European Union.
Newspapers, magazines, TV commercials and outdoor signs must be only in German.
National languages of member states may not be spoken in public from January 1st.
The same rules apply to live or recorded music in public places.
CAUTION: Languages other than German may NOT be spoken in private homes if the windows are open as the prohibited languages may be heard outside; no exceptions will be made in hot weather when air conditioning is not working.
ANOTHER CAUTION: This applies to music played in your home, so keep the volume down.
LABELLING OF PRODUCTS:
All products produced or manufactured in the European Union must state their origin as the EU, not the country or region where produced or manufactured.
RENAMING OF NATIONAL FOOD DISHES:
The following are examples that must be renamed to remove national or regional identity on labels, menus, recipes, etc. The list of examples will be expanded from time to time, as is our custom.
Greek Lemon Chicken
Italian Spaghetti Sauce
EXCEPTIONS: Brussels sprouts
We expect everyone to be a good EU citizen and follow the regulations once implemented. Further regulations are under consideration for reporting violations by friends, neighbors or family members.
Editor’s Note: Any misspelling of names is purely intentional.